


Polarizing

by danithemani



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Trauma, Cute Ending, Cute Kids, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Gay Parents, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, It's Okay, Kanin is fine I swear, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other, Safe Haven, she's safe, these tags sound kinda bad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 15:38:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18346622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danithemani/pseuds/danithemani
Summary: Someone from Kanin's past comes back to haunt her, just when she was beginning to feel settled. Her new family makes sure she's safe and never lets her feel alone again.





	Polarizing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LemurMonster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemurMonster/gifts).



> I was so excited to write this! I'm constantly honored by my wonderful friend LemurMonster with the privilege of writing with Miss Kanin, Nuka's tiniest Raider.

"I see new ones!"

Kanin could recognize those bright colors and funny shapes anywhere. Her whole body started to vibrate as she burst into giggles, taking one of her hands off of Danny's shoulders to point towards a table in the middle of the marketplace. The Overboss grabbed her ankle and gave it a gentle squeeze, and she put her hand on top of his and squeezed back as hard as she could. He let out a defeated yelp and grinned up at her. Boss let out a sigh and nuzzled into the patched up hole on her cargo pants just below the knee. Kanin remembered when that happened, and she remembered how she started to cry when she realized she had messed up her clothes. She was sure that he would be angry for her not taking better care of things he had given her, but instead she helped him pick out her favorite picture from a box of cloth. The whole thing was over in five minutes, and Gage ruffled her hair and told her not to worry over stuff that wadn't important.

"Oh okay, okay. But stay right by this table."

Danny lifted Kanin off of his shoulders and set her gently on the ground, laughing as he watched her feet wiggle excitedly waiting to hit the dirt. The Overboss watched her as she scampered over to the magnets that laid on the table. He was careful to be sure she didn't run off before he faced the trader they had walked down here to see. The market was busy, bustling with people since the lights flickered on weeks ago. There were more travelers here than ever before, some with funny accents and strange clothes she had never seen. Kanin had even heard a woman that had the same accent as the Overboss once, and Danny introduced the two and talked about recipes while the Raider listened intently, mentally jotting down all the strange combinations of spices the woman listed off. Kanin wondered if she was part super mutant too; maybe that's they both ate that way and talked like that. The weirdest thing she noticed was how all these people acted when they walked through the gates. Kanin didn't understand why everyone seemed so scared; she had never lived in a safer place her whole life. When she asked Gage, he shrugged and told her that sheep all look the same to him.

"It's no hurry sweetheart, really. Microscopes, scanners, anything that looks medical should have it. You know how it is, Gunners get frisky when it gets warm."

Kanin smiled to herself when she knew exactly what all those were for. She had seen him and Shaun work together to take things apart before. Boss was always running out of these funny looking wires when he was trying to set up turrets at the outposts. Those little pieces were hard to find and very important. He would get frustrated and say words in a language Kanin didn't know before he stomped over to post a few extra guards until he got back. The Overboss always said that humans should do different jobs than machines, and this was one of them. She was a lot of help when he was protecting his Raiders, Boss Bear said so. Danny and Gage made her feel smart, and they made her feel safe. She ran her hands over the magnets on the table, hearing them clack and spin and whizz. That always made her giggle. She felt free to explore around them, she was safe and trusted them to get her out of trouble. It was something she had never felt before.

"Sure thing, Overboss. I'll be on the lookout. Anything for you."

Boss Bear was using a familiar voice, soft and gentle that he didn't normally use with the Raiders. He was more stern with them, but not mean and scary like Colter used to be. She had never actually met him, but she could hear him yelling at Gage while she hid in the storage closet. Danny would never talk to Gage that way, she wasn't sure if he knew what most of those words meant anyway because she had never heard him use them. She was glad she didn't have to hide from Colter anymore; it made her stomach turn to hear him say those bad things about Gage. But she didn't have to worry about it now, they were both safe. Kanin brushed her hand over the head of a cat, this one pink with yellow stripes like the Pack colors instead of the usual purple. Everything had gotten better since Boss Bear was in charge, even the toys. The Raider listened to Boss Bear rattle off dimensions and materials and they bartered until Danny settled on a number lower than he started with. The woman laughed and flipped her hair, but Kanin knew she was wasting her time. Nobody could compete with Gage. Especially not some woman with her hair down.

"Rabbit?"

A familiar man's voice and a strong hand latched onto her shoulder. Kanin reached for the knife she kept under her belt but was paralyzed when she remembered who that voice belonged to. She turned to look at him, icy blue eyes meeting his gaze. Her heart sunk and fell into her stomach, and she was cold and small and alone again. Voices chattered around her and the market noise turned into a murmur. He's back but it's too late. He doesn't like what you've become. He's disappointed. He hates you. Her hand shot to cover her eye, scars burning like they were fresh. All of her old wounds reopened all at once and she teetered backward, breathless.

"Excuse me, I think you're confusing my Raiders with the merchandise. People are not for sale here. Perhaps you could try the Gunners for those services."

Danny stepped forward from her other side and grabbed her small hand in his, helping her steady. His other big hand was on the small of her back, like when he guided her into a room or showed her words in a storybook. It made her feel safe. It made her feel like she understood what was happening, even as her mind whirled to process it. Kanin looked up at him and took a few steps back toward Danny. When she regained her composure, the hand on her back scooped protectively in front of her waist. He was putting as much of himself as he could between the man and Kanin. This man looked at their hands and his face grew ugly and mean. 

"Raider? I knew you would get into trouble without me. You're coming home. Let me take you back where you belong."

The paler man's hand reached back towards her and she flinched. Faint voices told her that he wanted to take her away again, just to leave her behind for gnashing teeth and angry claws to find. She had worked so hard to find a new home, somewhere she belonged. Kanin didn't want to start over again. Her head filled with images of being pulled along dirt roads, feet sore and eyes trying to take in things she wasn't allowed to explore. Even before she was lost, Kanin remembered seeing Raiders laugh and smile in markets when the people in settlements were always sad. Gage said he grew up on a farm with a Fa that didn't keep him safe either. Maybe that's why Boss Bear was a dad instead.

"This lady is already home. I think you should finish your shopping and leave. Quickly."

Kanin felt herself being lifted off the ground and held onto the arm that wrapped around her. Danny placed her back on his shoulders, and for the first time in her life, she got to look down at him and see who he really was. He was older than she remembered, silver strings of hair were beginning to fall in with the brown. The man wasn't as wide as she remembered either, and the gun on his back didn't startle Danny one bit. Why would it, Gage had a big Gatling laser boss had made for him. Some stupid rifle wouldn't scare him. On the Overboss' shoulders, things always seemed a little more clear. He didn't seem quite as big as she remembered now, not standing next to Danny. But she was still afraid. The voices whispered he would steal her, take her to the dark place, and leave her all over again.

"And who are you?"

Danny wrapped a big hand around Kanin's ankle and squeezed it. I'm right here, honey. Overboss was really good with words, and he knew a lot of big ones, but the way his hands spoke meant more to her. Gage said Boss' hands only did good things.

"I own this place. These are my Raiders. And this will be the last time I ask you to leave."

She looked down at him again and something new went through her. Kanin was safe now, she had a family, a real one that loved and cared about her and would protect her. She didn't need him now for anything but an answer.

"Why?"

The man's face changed again and voices chattered, telling her that she already knew why. She was replaceable, she was worthless, she wasn't special. Kanin bit back those words, shaking her head. She didn't feel that way anymore, not as much anyway. Danny welcomed her into his home, he took care of her and he took care of Gage and he took care of every other Raider in this park. If other people didn't see what was special about his Raiders, Danny always said, it was their problem, not his. Kanin knew she was extra special, because other than Gage, she knew she was his favorite. Boss Bear only liked good things, because he was a good man. If she was bad, Danny wouldn't like her.

"I had to keep her safe. You don't understand, Kanin. You've never been in love."

The golden woman. Kanin remembered that she tried to protect her, she tried to keep the Yao Guai away. But Fa pulled her away, told her it wasn't worth it, that he couldn't lose them both. They could have more children, he said. But if she had tried, maybe he wouldn't have lost either of them. If he hadn't have held her back, maybe Kanin would have still been on the road with them, traveling on sore feet and scrounging for caps when Fa didn't have a job. She knew she was better off now. She had toys and clothes and all the food she could eat and in the summer the wind would blow out through metal holes in the ceiling. No more sunburns and cold bath water and food out of boxes.

"Kanin, would you like me to make this man leave?"

Anyone else and the idea would have made her smile and stick out her tongue. That made her feel strong, that she could just point and anyone could be kicked out because honey bunny told Boss Bear she was unhappy. Gage really liked that too, he had told her that he liked that Danny listened. He never made anyone feel stupid. Everyone's ideas were worth listening to at least once, Boss Bear said. He even let Kanin pick out and paint armor parts for his robots sometimes. She knew that was important because he called them his babies and Boss Bear was a really good dad. And he never made anyone pay for talking either, Gage said, though she wasn't sure what that meant.

"No, I wanna talk."

Kanin felt Danny shift in the dirt.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. 

"I have to know."


End file.
